第十一章-伊凡·伊里奇之死-万书网
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第十一章

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    Another two weeks went by in this way and during that fortnight an event occurred that Ivan Ilych and his wife had desired. Petrishchev formally proposed. It happened in the evening. The next day Praskovya Fedorovna came into her husband's room considering how best to inform him of it, but that very night there had been a fresh change for the worse in his condition. She found him still lying on the sofa but in a different position. He lay on his back, groaning and staring fixedly straight in front of him.

    就这样又过了两周,在这两周中,发生了一件伊凡·伊里奇和妻子都盼望的事。彼特利歇夫正式求婚了。这事发生在晚上。第二天,普拉斯柯菲雅·费多罗夫娜进入她丈夫的房间,考虑怎么才能以最好的方式告诉他这个消息,但就在那天晚上,他的身体状况突然急转直下。她发现伊凡·伊里奇依旧躺在沙发上,但姿势有所不同。他仰躺着,呻吟着,直直地盯着他的正前方。

    She began to remind him of his medicines, but he turned his eyes towards her with such a look that she did not finish what she was saying; so great an animosity, to her in particular, did that look express.

    她开始提醒他吃药,但他用那样的眼神看着她,她没有说完要说的话,因为那眼神表达出来的是憎恶,尤其对于她来说。

    "For Christ's sake let me die in peace!" he said.

    “看在基督的份上,让我安静地死去吧!”他说。

    She would have gone away, but just then their daughter came in and went up to say good morning. He looked at her as he had done at his wife, and in reply to her inquiry about his health said dryly that he would soon free them all of himself. They were both silent and after sitting with him for a while went away.

    她想出去,但正在这时,他们的女儿进来,到父亲那里道早安。他用看他妻子的眼神看着女儿,女儿询问他身体如何,他冷冰冰地回答说,很快她们就能摆脱他了。她们都默默无言,坐了一会儿后就走了。

    "Is it our fault?" Lisa said to her mother. "It's as if we were to blame! I am sorry for papa, but why should we be tortured?"

    “是我们的错吗?”丽莎对她的母亲说,“好像都怪我们似的!我为爸爸难过,但他为什么要折磨我们?”

    The doctor came at his usual time. Ivan Ilych answered "Yes" and "No," never taking his angry eyes from him, and at last said: "You know you can do nothing for me, so leave me alone."

    医生按时来看他。伊凡·伊里奇回答“是”和“不”,始终用愤怒的眼神看着医生,最后说:“你明知不能为我做什么了,那就不要打扰我了。”

    "We can ease your sufferings."

    “我们可以减轻你的痛苦。”

    "You can't even do that. Let me be."

    “你连那个都做不到。让我一个人呆着吧。”

    The doctor went into the drawing room and told Praskovya Fedorovna that the case was very serious and that the only resource left was opium to allay her husband's sufferings, which must be terrible.

    医生走进客厅,告诉普拉斯柯菲雅·费多罗夫娜,病人的病情非常严重,只有用鸦片减轻她丈夫的痛苦一途了,她丈夫所承受的痛苦必定是非常可怕的。

    It was true, as the doctor said, that Ivan Ilych's physical sufferings were terrible, but worse than the physical sufferings were his mental sufferings which were his chief torture.

    医生说,伊凡·伊里奇身体里疼得厉害,真的是这样,但比他身体上的疼痛更厉害的是他内心的痛苦,这才是折磨他的主要因素。

    His mental sufferings were due to the fact that that night, as he looked at Gerasim's sleepy, good-natured face with its prominent cheek-bones, the question suddenly occurred to him: "What if my whole life has been wrong?"

    他内心的痛苦是因为那天晚上:他看着盖拉西姆困顿、善良、颧骨突出的脸庞,突然想到一个问题:“要是我这一辈子真的做错了什么呢?”

    It occurred to him that what had appeared perfectly impossible before, namely that he had not spent his life as he should have done, might after all be true. It occurred to him that his scarcely perceptible attempts to struggle against what was considered good by the most highly placed people, those scarcely noticeable impulses which he had immediately suppressed, might have been the real thing, and all the rest false. And his professional duties and the whole arrangement of his life and of his family, and all his social and official interests, might all have been false. He tried to defend all those things to himself and suddenly felt the weakness of what he was defending. There was nothing to defend.

    他突然想到,那些以前看似绝不可能的事,也就是他那不对头的生活,归根结底可能是真的。他想到他私下里反对过那些被位高权重的人们肯定的好事,虽然他立即就压制下了那些难以察觉的冲动,但这些事可能是对的,而其余的都是错的。他的公职、整个生活规划、家庭规划、社交兴趣、职业重点,可能都是错误的。他在内心里竭力地为这些东西辩护,却突然感觉到他所辩护的东西是有弱点的。没有什么可辩护的。

    "But if that is so," he said to himself, "and I am leaving this life with the consciousness that I have lost all that was given me and it is impossible to rectify it—what then?”

    “但如果是这样,”他对自己说,“也就是说我已丢失上帝赋予我的一切,并且无法改正,我将带着这样的遗憾离开人世——怎么办?”

    He lay on his back and began to pass his life in review in quite a new way. In the morning when he saw first his footman, then his wife, then his daughter, and then the doctor, their every word and movement confirmed to him the awful truth that had been revealed to him during the night. In them he saw himself—all that for which he had lived—and saw clearly that it was not real at all, but a terrible and huge deception which had hidden both life and death. This consciousness intensified his physical suffering tenfold. He groaned and tossed about, and pulled at his clothing which choked and stifled him. And he hated them on that account.

    他仰躺着,开始以一种新的方式在回忆中打发时光。今天早上,他先见到他的仆人,然后是他的妻子,然后是他的女儿,然后是医生,他们的每一句话、每一个举动都向他证实,他在晚间所发现的是可怕的事实。在他们身上,他看到了自己——看到了他为之为生活的一切——他清楚地看到了这一切都完全不对头,只是一个可怕的巨大骗局,其间既隐藏着生,也隐藏着死。这个想法让他身体上的痛苦厉害了十倍。他呻吟,辗转反侧,拉扯着令他窒息、憋闷的衣服。为此他痛恨这些衣服。

    He was given a large dose of opium and became unconscious, but at noon his sufferings began again. He drove everybody away and tossed from side to side.

    医生给他大剂量的鸦片,他失去了意识。但到了正午,他的痛苦就又开始了。他赶走了所有人,辗转反侧。

    His wife came to him and said:

    他的妻子走进来,说:

    "Jean, my dear, do this for me. It can't do any harm and often helps. Healthy people often do it."

    “约翰,亲爱的,为了我这么做吧。不会有害,而且常常还能有所帮助。健康的人也常常这么做。”

    He opened his eyes wide.

    他把眼睛睁得大大的。

    "What? Take communion? Why? It's unnecessary! However..." She began to cry.

    “什么?领圣餐?为什么?没有必要!不过……”她开始哭起来。

    "Yes, do, my dear. I'll send for our priest. He is such a nice man."

    “行吗?求你了,亲爱的。我叫人去请我们的神父过来。他是一个非常好的人。”

    "All right. Very well," he muttered.

    “好吧。非常好。”他喃喃道。

    When the priest came and heard his confession, Ivan Ilych was softened and seemed to feel a relief from his doubts and consequently from his sufferings, and for a moment there came a ray of hope. He again began to think of the vermiform appendix and the possibility of correcting it. He received the sacrament with tears in his eyes.

    神父到了,听了他的忏悔后,伊凡·伊里奇感到了些安慰,缓解了他的疑惑,也缓解了他的痛苦,一瞬间看到了一线希望。他再次开始想到盲肠,还能不能治愈它。他含着泪水领了圣餐。

    When they laid him down again afterwards he felt a moment's ease, and the hope that he might live awoke in him again. He began to think of the operation that had been suggested to him. "To live! I want to live!" he said to himself.

    他们扶他重新躺回去,之后他感到一阵子轻松,活下去的希望在他身体里再次苏醒了。他开始思索让他做手术的建议。“活下去!我想要活下去!”他对自己说。

    His wife came in to congratulate him after his communion, and when uttering the usual conventional words she added:

    领完圣餐后,他的妻子走进来祝贺他,等说完一番套话后,她又问:

    "You feel better, don't you?"

    “你是不是觉得好些了?”

    Without looking at her he said, "Yes."

    他没有看她,说:“是。”

    Her dress, her figure, the expression of her face, the tone of her voice, all revealed the same thing. "This is wrong, it is not as it should be. All you have lived for and still live for is falsehood and deception, hiding life and death from you." And as soon as he admitted that thought, his hatred and his agonizing physical suffering again sprang up, and with that suffering a consciousness of the unavoidable, approaching end. And to this was added a new sensation of grinding shooting pain and a feeling of suffocation.

    她的服装、她的身姿、她的表情、她的语调,都表露了同一件事。“这是错的,不对头。你曾经和现在为之生活的一切都是谎言与欺骗,对你隐藏了生和死。”他一承认这个想法,他的憎恨与痛不欲生的肉体折磨便卷土重来,并且意识到了不可避免、渐渐逼近的死亡。在此之上又增加了一种新的感觉,那是无休无止的抽痛和窒息的感觉。

    The expression of his face when he uttered that "Yes" was dreadful. Having uttered it, he looked her straight in the eyes, turned on his face with a rapidity extraordinary in his weak state and shouted:

    他说“是”的时候,脸上的表情是可怕的。说完,他直直地看着她的眼睛,在虚弱的状态下,以极快的速度扭过头去,喊道:

    "Go away! Go away and leave me alone!"

    “走开!走开,别打扰我!”

    XII

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